[The fifty members of the Fine Arts graduating class of 2005 are seated on the stage, their faces under diaphanous black shrouds hanging from their mortarboards. Our two speakers move forward to the podium, accompanied by a sobbing, veiled, woman, who sits at the corner of the stage.]

We are here to honor the passing of the Undergraduate Class of 2005.

The studios lie vacant. The halls of the College of Fine Arts echo with the absence of life; the very stones of the building seem to mourn the passing of the Undergraduate Class of 2005. Many of these men and women only spent 4 years – 4 fleeting years - on this earth as students of Carnegie Mellon University , before their undergraduate lives were SEIZED in the relentless Commencement of 2005.

We are all stunned and saddened by this tragic loss. During their all-too-brief lifetime, the Undergraduate Class of 2005 was an exemplar of unparalleled excellence, a powerful, electrifying and creative force, which sadly, is no longer with us. The walls of the CFA, the Frame gallery, and even the Regina Gouger Miller Gallery literally glowed with the radiant presence of the work of these exemplary artists. Their luminosity was only outshone by the bright, tearful eyes, and the beaming smiles on the faces of their professors; for nothing pleases a pedagogue more than when their students surpass them at their own craft. Never again will a member of the Class of 2005 ply a brush, click a mouse, or shape a sculpture in our classrooms. We were blessed to have once exalted in the presence of these dearly departed.

CMU has not shuddered with the loss of such striking undergraduates since 1949, with the parting of Andy Warhol, (once regarded as the greatest artist in the history of everything, ever). Truly, an era has passed.

These were the people who founded the Yoda program, wherein older students could provide incoming students with an experienced friend and a warm welcome. As a class, these students heroicly claimed CMU's infamous Fence in the name of the School of Art . In 2002, by founding the Art House, they transformed an old dormitory into a space for the creation and exhibition of work. Still fresh in our minds is the awesome spectacle of the inaugural Art Parade, conceived and headed by Art the Mascot, the Class's most enigmatic, and second-furriest, member. Doubtless, the Undergraduate Class of 2005's most enduring legacy is its familial sense of unity and camaraderie. A closeness, a friendship, a love…one that now is in the past.

Another friend who's absence will be felt, is academic advisor Doris Schwartz, who upon hearing the devastating news, has chosen to move to Michigan . Doris was an esteemed and beloved counselor, integral to the development and success of the class of 2005. It is fitting that she has moved on with their passing –

-Indeed, without her academic advising, many of the Undergrads themselves wouldn't have passed

– for never again would she have the opportunity to advise a class of students filled with such boundless splendor as the Undergraduate Class of 2005.

[Both speakers turn to the grieving mother of the Undergraduate Class of 2005. She raises her veil and accepts bouquets of lilies presented by the speakers, then sits again, sobbing softly]

Now, if we all could bow our heads, and take a moment to honor the heartbreaking passing of these fine young people from Carnegie Mellon's School of Fine Arts. This is the end of everything.

[taps plays]

Verily, these undergrads, these sparkling individuals, artists without equals, will live on in our memories…and indeed elsewhere. For, surely, we can all be certain that they will be resurrected as brilliant alumni!

Brilliant alumni! Shimmering alumni! Erupting out of this limbo, they will rise from beneath their veils, and as they shed their burial shrouds - these unseemly black gowns - their new and radiant countenances will be revealed! They shall stride, crowned in glory, towering, resplendent, triumphant, with minds filled with the fire of wisdom, and pockets overflowing with generosity towards their alma mater, Carnegie Mellon University , the memorial to, and mausoleum of, their undergraduate years!