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WRITINGS CARTOONS ANIMATION and VIDEO BACK |
This is all stuff I wrote. I write alot, though most (read: all) of it's complete and utter crap. Most of these are my paltry attempts at humour, while some of them are simply my complete and utter failures at humour. The majority of these were done for school assignments, as I rarely find time for freewriting. Contrary to almost everything else on the site, there is no particular order to these, though usually when I add new stuff, I add it to the top. captain of the first European expedition to Loompaland A piece comrade Andrew and I made for our Radio Play class. It's a rather lengthy series of journal entries in the style of 18th century explorers, chronicling the first incursion of the civilised world into the barbaric wilds of LoompaLand. (~3.34 mB) The background music is by Harry Partch, and snippets of Hans Reichel's Daxaphone pieces are used in the Hornswaggler segment. Early Works: Retrospective - The Awesome Show Documentation of my first gallery show. I can say, in all humility, it was the most Awesome Show ever. The Magical Ice Cream Crayon Mural Project! My first large public work, if memory serves. Myself and some comrades made a mural of sorts yesterday. Since most of you who won't be in Solon, Ohio between July 27th and the soon-to-come time when the mural gets covered with the scrawls of small children, and eventually thrown away. I made some snowmen over break. Shenanigans ensued. Words and pictures here relate to it. Personal anecdote/essay thingie written for AP English my senior year. It actually became part of my college application packet, and is possibly one of the reasons I'm happily wedged in here at prestigious Carnegie Mellon University. My (very kewl, in general) English teacher senior year saw fit to teach us a bunch of SAT-type vocab words to prepare us for the AP test. She had us do this by writing a paragraph using x amount of said vocab words. Since I have a habit of writing like a chimpanzee with a thesaurus anyway, this assignment wasn't too much of a stretch. Short little descriptive writing assignment for done for my AP English class senior year. Ho...lee...ke...rap... A review of a movie which still scars me to this day. Such a terrible movie... Yech... One day, I didn't get a really terrible graduation gift form my arch nemesis. I got a bag full of them. Come see the big stack of crap Mr. F gave me. This has alot of pictures of many tiny, silly, horrible presents, and as such may be hard to load. Rest assured, loading these is ALOT easier than accepting them. Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to introduce you to the LeBag! How to Interpret Dually Piece my pal Rob and I wrote when we didn't care anymore about winning in forensics tournaments. It was highly illegal, but a helluva lot of fun. Plus, people actually LIKED it, and we got a new biggest fan. In time, this will actually be a legal piece to use, so don't be afraid to give it a whirl next season, young Duo Interpreters! Replete with notes and addidtions added and improvised in each performance. XboX: Friendly Electronic Plaything, or Genocidal Killing Machine? Find out why they might have well have just called it the HALboX 9000. Godzilla 2000: A Narrative Review Learn about the spiffy new all-Japanese Godzilla movie, as well as read a real-life story about my trip to the movies that proves that my life is at least as interesting as most FOX sitcoms. Los Verduras Diablos A silly story about my childhood experiences with Brussels sprouts. The final paragraph is kind of stupid, but I needed an appropriate closure for the English assignment this was for. A Story About a Bomb This is a story about a bomb. Order From Chaos or Ooh, Look at Me, I'm All Deep an' Stuff! An essay that was suppposed to seriously give a legitamate theory on human existence. Mine came out a little sillier than it was supposed to. Playing God...or Perhaps, Phil, a More Minor Deity A story I wrote in '99 for English class, which my teacher really thought was neat. It involves Prof. Morbius, a character used by my pal Max and Myself in our now-dormant Cap'n Spiffy comics. Its a pretty good story, my one regret being that one of the jokes at the end is blatantly ripped off of a Sam & Max comic. I keep this story around to remind me never to be that stupid and uncreative again. A Very Long Sentence One day, my (extremely cool) honors bio teacher Mr. Grimm made us all pull out a sheet of paper. Thinking I was in for another horrible pop quiz, I was full of dismay, until he said he wanted all of us to write the most creative run-on sentence we could in a limited amount of time. I apparently wrote the best, and got some much-needed extra credit. THIS is not that story, as Mr. Grimm kept the original, but this is a story written in the same manner, containing many of the same elements, such as Sam, Max, and the blown-up meat-packing plant. Dragon Ball Z: Innocent Cartoon Show, or Ridiculous Nazi Attempt to Transform a Childrens' Cartoon into Propaganda? Old rant, but still poignant on the ridiculousness of one of todays most popular shows. Pokémon's more evil, but its been pretty much covered in terms of roasting. Vegetarians: Innocent Vegan Plant-Folk, or Hypocritical Butchers? Another old rant. Some points on why vegetarianism is wrong. |